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"Natural Health Doctor Discovers The Secret To Disciplining Children Without Punishments or Rewards..."


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Follow these child discipline, toddler and tantrum tips in this presentation on dealing with behavior problems of all kinds, tantrums, defiance, oppostional defiance disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorders, lying, and outbursts

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Three Main Styles of Parenting and Discipline

Over the last decades there have been many breakthroughs in the arena of child developmental psychology and childhood education. Today’s more aware approach to parenting and child education is gaining popularity and resulting in happier, more cooperative and less hyperactive children.

The parents who employ these more aware methods of raising their children are also finding their lives less stressful and more fulfilling. To have cooperative children who are easy to be with, loving and helpful makes life a breeze compared to dealing with kids who are out of control, hyperactive, unfocused, defiant, never satisfied, and even violent and aggressive.

We still have a long way to go, as a society, because aware and inclusive parenting practices are being used by only a small percentage of the total parent population. The majority of parents remain in the dark about these healthy and proven possibilities for transforming their children and family.

Looking around today, we can safely say that the majority of parents practice an “Authoritarian” or “Punitive” style of parenting.

What we’ve also discovered is that those parents who don’t apply Authoritarian parenting will often tend to be overly permissive in their parenting. Then, when their child is out of control due to this permissiveness, the parent feels exacerbated and often will lash out with harshness in order to reel their unruly child in. Like a pendulum swing, the parent goes from Permissive parenting to Authoritarian parenting.

Once a mainstay, Authoritarian and Permissive approaches have become outdated, unworkable and no longer practical or healthy, according to the latest research and results.

According to studies on the effects of Authoritarian parenting:
“Children from Authoritarian parenting lack social competence as the parent generally predicts what the child should do instead of allowing the child to choose by him or herself. The children also rarely take initiative. They are socially withdrawn and look to others to decide what’s right. These children lack spontaneity and lack curiosity.”

“These children are often the most vulnerable to enter into relationships with or marry equally abusive and controlling partners or develop mental illness when they enter adulthood.”

There are three kinds of discipline. We will refer to these as “authoritarian parenting,” “permissive parenting” and “democratic parenting.” In this section, we will explain the problems you will encounter if you use authoritarian parenting or permissive parenting, and why we recommend democratic parenting.

Authoritarian Discipline and Parenting

Parents who use authoritarian parenting are either using “authoritarian violent parenting” or “authoritarian non-violent parenting.”

Authoritarian Violent Parenting

First, we will describe the problems you will face if you use “authoritarian violent parenting.” With this kind of discipline, all your control comes through hitting, spanking, threatening, yelling, humiliating, blaming, belittling, criticizing, etc. To do this means you control your child by physical or verbal abuse.

You can already see the problems you face with authoritarian violent parenting. Clearly the home atmosphere will be tense, rigid and oppressive. With this form of parenting, your children will often feel angry, hostile, scared or powerless, and will have low self-esteem.

Through authoritarian violent parenting children learn violence, competitiveness, lying and blind obedience to authority, and they end up having no self-discipline. What we then see in the adolescent teen is a child who will likely rebel, run away from home, act out with fights, drugs, sexual promiscuity, etc. and become hurtful to herself or to others.

As you can see, in authoritarian violent parenting, the parents ultimately run out of power – just as violent dictators who rule countries with this same style eventually get overthrown.

Research study results on instances of harsher punishment:

* One large study showed that the more parents spanked children for antisocial behaviour, the more the antisocial behaviour increased.

* The study showed that the more children are hit, the more likely they are to hit others including peers and siblings and, as they grow into adults, they are more likely to hit their spouses. Hitting children teaches them that it is acceptable to hit others who are smaller and weaker.

* A Canadian government study for children at risk showed that being hit as children are associated with more depressive symptoms and psychiatric disorders as adults.

* A landmark meta-analysis of 88 corporal punishment research studies of over six decades showed that corporal punishment of children was associated with negative outcomes including increased delinquent and antisocial behaviour and increased risk of child abuse and spousal abuse.
SOURCE: The Happy Child Guide

 

Authoritarian Non-Violent Parenting

With this form of discipline, the methods we use to control our children include rewards and punishments. The rewards may include money, privileges, treats, toys, hugs, praise, attention, etc. Among the punishments used in authoritarian non-violent parenting include loss of privileges, withdrawal of love and attention, isolation, making the child feel guilty, etc.

So what children learn from this form of parenting is conformity, “apple-polishing” and deviousness, and they tend to lack self-discipline. Children raised with authoritarian non-violent parenting may feel resentful, angry, misunderstood and manipulated.

What then could be seen in the adolescent teen is emotional withdrawal, rebelling and searching elsewhere for unconditional love. Parents who practice this form of discipline most commonly complain that their teenager doesn’t talk with them. Thus, as you can see again, with authoritarian non-violent parenting parents run out of power.
SOURCE: The Happy Child Guide

 

Permissive Parenting and Discipline

Parents who practice a more permissive style of parenting, a more "laisser-faire" approach to discipline often will find themselves “at the end of their rope” when using using this kind of discipline, as tend to develop the dynamic of having no power. And what usually happens in this case is that out of frustration and lack of skills, the pendulum will swing and the parent resorts to authoritarian parenting to try and regain some control with their child.

In order to get children to cooperate using permissive parenting, you would have to use pleading, bribing, negotiating, nagging, yielding, lecturing, waiting, self-sacrificing, rescuing and catering. In all of these instances, the real needs of the child are not addressed, and as a result, each of these is a form of neglect (neglecting to address the child’s real needs).

With permissive parenting the home atmosphere can be chaotic, exhausting, and inconsistent. Children learn how to manipulate others and develop no self-discipline, while feeling confused, guilty and insecure.

Children raised with permissive parenting can become selfish, dependent, demanding, whining, domineering, manipulative and irresponsible. Parents can also feel resentful of their children.

So, as you can see we recommend avoiding using “authoritarian parenting” or “permissive parenting,” for the reasons described above, and instead we recommend “democratic parenting.”

Democratic Parenting

“Democratic parenting” is all about connection and including the children in the process. For children to enjoy life and have good age-appropriate judgment, they must feel connected to other people and to their environment. They must feel like they “belong” and hold a significant status in life.

With democratic parenting, everyone has a sense of power – including the child. When the sense of power is shared with the child, there is no need for power struggles, making cooperation natural and easy.

The methods used for democratic parenting allow the home atmosphere to be relaxed, orderly and flexible. The parents provide unconditional love, modeling, encouragement, listening to feelings and natural consequences for their children, and meet their real needs.

In this relaxed home atmosphere, “problem solving” is encouraged. Regular family meetings in a supportive atmosphere are incorporated among the “problem solving” options.

Because the atmosphere helps children feel connected and loved, and the children’s thinking and ideas are incorporated in family decision making, children feel happy, secure, confident and well loved, and they tend to have high self-esteem.

All the while, children are learning self-discipline, responsibility, problem-solving skills, respect, natural consequences, intelligent thinking and cooperation.

What we then see in the adolescent teen is love and respect between the parents and the child. Because the child’s needs have been met, and she feels loved and connected to their parents and others, she feels no need to rebel or withdraw.

The Happy Child Guide will show you how you can practically apply attachment parenting principles and help you figure out what the child’s real need is and how to dissolve the challenging behaviour by addressing it directly.

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"Tired Of The Defiance, Tantrums, Outbursts, Lying, Disrespect and
Embarrassing Bad Behaviors?
"

In this FREE child discipline presentation below, you'll find:
by Dr. Blaise Ryan - Chief Medical Advisor,  Child Brain Health Research Institute
 
Shocking common child discipline mistakes that make bad behavior WORSE!
2 so-called "discipline" methods that you should NEVER do (they can actually stunt your child's confidence and increase frequency of tantrums)
Democratic parenting tips that help your child behave and listen better
1 unique "trick" that stops arguments within seconds
Unique steps you can take today to melt defiance without rasing your voice, using punishments or bribes.
1 simple rule based on child psychology that gets almost any child to listen, pay attention and behave within only a few weeks of using it.

PARENTS CLICK HERE for your FREE presentation
to learn about effective ways to discipline your child and deal with temper tantrums, defiance, out-of-control, stubborness and other child behaviors that drive you crazy!

(the answer will surprise you)

 

In this free presentation you'll learn 4 powerful keys to effective discipline that can help with these: tantrums, oppositional defiant disorder, parenting, parenting skills, Child development, Terrible twos, child biting, child psychology, Kindergarten, daycare, behavior children, attachment parenting, temper tantrums, behavior problems, bad behavior, kids, children, toddlers, behavioral problems, child discipline, behavior modification, toddler tantrums, baby tantrums, child temper tantrums, why kids throw tantrums, how to stop a temper tantrum, and much more...

MORE ARTICLES ON PARENTING, CHILD PSYCHOLOGY & CHILD BEHAVIOR

Here are some Articles and MP3 Audio Recordings Covering Solutions to Baby Tantrums, Toddler Tantrums, and Temper Tantrums in Any Child. Click any of these links below to read interesting articles on these subjects and discover the real causes and smart solutions to tantrums, discipline and behavior issues for most children:

Article #1: Dealing With Temper Tantrums: Baby, Toddler, Childhood Years

Article #2: How To Get Your Child To Listen No Matter What The Situation

Article #3: How To Deal With Aggression With Other Children and Sibling Fights

Article #4: My Child Whines All The Time And It's Driving Me Crazy!

MP3 Audio #1 : Exclusive Interview - Is It Really Necessary to Discipline Toddlers and Young Children?

MP3 Audio #2: Exclusive Interview - The Basic Foundation For Raising An Emotional Healthy Child

 

 

 

 

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